Wednesday, May 16, 2012

One Month

Dear Clover,
You are already one month! It has gone by so fast and you have changed so much.  You eat and sleep all day, with some moments of wake time.  You gained 25 ounces in 12 days, the doctor was shocked! By your 2 week appointment you were already 9 pounds 9 ounces.  Your hands are getting more attention from you, they are finding their way to your mouth more often.  When you breast feed, your arm reaches up and rubs your head, it's so cute.
You smile at Mema and your brothers often! It has happened too many times for us to say it's gas.  Mema loves to baby talk to you and she gets a gorgeous smile in return!
We are inseparable.  I have spent no more than an hour away from you all month. For that hour I was lost without you!
Your favorite place to be is breast feeding or laying right next to my chest. You look beyond peaceful after you feed.  That look of milk coma happens often for you.  I am in love with you.  I forgot all the sounds that infants make and I am enjoying listening to you. Your grunts and moans are adorable. I call you my little elephant because you sound like it.  I remember being in the hospital and smelling you.  I don't know how to describe it, but it's the smell of baby.  I remember smelling it with the boys, the exact smell, but forgot all about it until I smelled it on you.
You are a beautiful child of god and I am grateful that you chose me to be your Mommy. My love for you is beyond anything I can describe, it's a feeling a mother has for her babies. You are so very very very loved.
Love you baby girl,
Mommy

Some extras:
* Your brother Vinnie said, "She is the sweest girl in the whole wide world."
* 3 months clothes are fitting quite well.
* You sleep on average from 9pm to 1am and then wake again at 4:00 am to feed.















A Love like no other















Welcome Clover Grace!
March 30, 2012 @ 7:30 am
8 pounds 6 ounces
21.5 inches


No one can explain the love a mother has for her newborn.  I don't think I can even explain it and I am experiencing it.  I know I forgot how wonderful this pure love feeling is.  It's not like anything else.  I remember feeling this love with all of my babies.  I clearly remember, after having Frankie, wanting six babies because the feeling is better than anything else. It's at that point, you realize what really matters to you, it's not the material things in life, but the people and family you share life with.  I am so thankful for a husband that gets that. We are enjoying this little girl and trying to remember and embrace all these newborn moments. This is worth everything!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Frankie the Fish turns FOUR!

Happy 4th Birthday Big Boy!!!











An Interview with the now 4 year old!!


What is your favorite color?  Red


What is your favorite food?  Cookies

What is your favorite thing to do?  Play with toys

Play what?  A big transformer

What is your favorite show?  Phineas and Ferb

What is your favorite holiday? Halloween

Who is your favorite person?  Clayton

Who is your favorite family member?  Mama

What's your favorite thing to do with Vinnie? Play with him.

What do you want to be when you grow up?  Astronaut

What do you hate? Animals that fart in my face, skunks. (I have no idea where this came from, but this is the kind of stuff he comes up with!)


If you could go anywhere, where would you go today?  I would ride on Vinnie's bike really fast and I would go to my school. 


How does it feel to be four? Good


Dear Frankie,
         How is it possible that you are four? These past four years have been wonderful! You brought so much joy and love to our family. Watching Vinnie have a brother and seeing your relationship grow has been one of my favorite things as a parent.
         You are such a caring soul.  You care for others and often want to make everything better and right.  You are the first one to give up a certain color or flavor to make big brother happier. You hate to see anyone upset, but you really hate to see Vinnie upset. (Unless you are being a little pesty brother, which you do that too!). Your love and affection towards your Mommy is cherished. Your smile and hugs melt my heart.
           I enjoy listening to you tell stories and boy do you have some stories! They intertwine fiction and non-fiction together, and often times I don't know if the story is real or not.  You love to talk and school tells me you don't stop. 
           Berries, eggs and salad are a few of your favorite things.  Of course you love your sweets and snacks too.  I don't think we can get through one of Vinnie's T-ball games without you snacking the entire time!  You are drawn to bugs, dirt, guns and all things boys. 
          You remind me of myself in many ways.  It's amazing how much we are similar.  It's not just the things we are drawn to, like sour cream, but personality traits as well.  We are both very stubborn.  I have an understanding with you. Good and bad, I am so grateful to have a mini me.
           I am so lucky to have you as my child.  You are so very very very loved.  Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy.

All my love forever,
Mommy

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Reflections of a Pregnancy

Friday was my last pregnancy appointment during my last pregnancy.  It is hard to believe how fast this pregnancy went by.  It's amazing how slow the first pregnancy actually felt, because with kids, everything is a blur.  (Makes me actually wonder how much of raising kids is possible to soak in.)  The end of my pregnancy always brings an interesting emotional state.  The idea of my last pregnancy coming to an end brings tears to me. Through out this entire pregnancy, I wanted to document my experience, but considering how fast it flew by, I am reflecting on this joyous time.

First Trimester:
I was blessed to always feel good during my first trimester. My sense of smell was sensitive from this point throughout the entire pregnancy.  I occasionally would feel nauseous, but nothing serious.  I kept this pregnancy a secret until my 2nd trimester, so if anything felt "long", it was waiting to spread the news.

Second Trimester:
This is a fun time of pregnancy.  I felt great and lots of great news and important ultrasounds happen during this stage.  I would say this is the best part of pregnancy.  We had our 20 week ultrasound to show a healthy baby.  We later, did our cake cutting to reveal a baby girl.  I started having to wear more maternity clothes during this stage, but wasn't big in a sense that everyone knew I was expecting.

Third Trimester:
I had a 3D ultrasound during this stage of my pregnancy. I was 29 weeks at the time and we wanted to confirm that the gender was correct.  When we got started the ultrasound tech noticed something "different" on my placenta.  This for "fun" ultrasound resulted in getting a doctor involved and having my doctor notified about my placenta. We left with a few poor images, but a confirmation that our baby girl was growing.   I waited an entire week to see a specialist, which was the longest week of my pregnancy.  After a week of looking up placenta information online and thinking the worst from my research, we confirmed Chorioangioma.  I basically had a tumor growing on my placenta.  It is very rare, not much information out there about it and the specialist wanted to keep an eye on "it" and baby.  We started focusing on baby and the next two ultrasounds provided positive news for baby.  She was growing and the tumor was slow growing.  The specialist was ready to "get her out of there" at 38 weeks, but I was set that I could make it to 39 weeks.

Some extras:
With the boys, I had the worst carpel tunnel the entire pregnancy. It kept me from sleeping in the last weeks.
With Clover, I only had a short episode of carpel tunnel, but it went away quickly.  The biggest difference was, she created a lot of muscle pains on my inner thighs.  Sometimes, it was hard to walk and the pressure was much greater than I felt with the boys.
With the boys, chocolate milk was my biggest craving.  With Clover, I loved orange juice.

Pregnant with Clover, just before leaving to go have her.
My body is ready. I feel her kick and watch my stomach roll around and realize she needs to be outside doing this. So, here I am, in my last days of pregnancy.  I will miss feeling life inside of me.  I will miss Frankie kissing my belly and I look forward to him kissing her outside of the womb. I am thankful that this body handled 3 pregnancies so well, I am lucky because I had great pregnancies with no complications.  My body created life, without taking a toll on my health and allowed me to work up until the day before.  Thank you body, thank you.

Update (Aprl 13, 2012):  My body was healthy as can be during Clover's pregnancy! They examined the placenta to find NO chorioangioma! Either they were wrong and saw something else or all those prayers worked! Thank you again body!

Dear Clover

As I laid in bed on the night of March 29th and the morning of March 30th, I couldn't stop planning this letter out to our baby girl.

Dear Clover,
               I am only a few hours away from meeting you face to face.  The anticipation of your arrival has made it so my mind can't rest.  I thought I would sleep so well tonight and wake up bright and early to go to the hospital. However, I lay here in bed, falling off to sleep, only to wake up minutes later to thinking about the upcoming events. I sure have enjoyed being with you, feeling your movements and peaking at you through ultrasounds, only to hear that you are healthy and growing. However, as my body starts to hurt, I know you and I are ready to part. I pray that the c-section goes well and my nerves handle it like a champ.  I can't wait to see your face, hear your cry and hold you in my arms.  I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I already love you sweet baby girl.

Love,
      Mommy

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The things KiDS say


Frankie: (In the car on the way to school) "Mom when I grow up, can I drive?"
Mom: "Yes."
Frankie: "Can I grow up today?"

Vinnie: "You have 4 arm pits, you know?"
Mom: "We do?"
Vinnie: Pointing to his arm pits "Yes, right here."  and then pointing behind his knees, "..and right here."

Vinnie: (On the way to a birthday party that only invited Vinnie. He was talking to me a ton).  "It feels funny without Frankie, that's why I am talking to you a lot!"

There will be more! ......

Baby Reveal

We decided to have a baby reveal for our last baby.  We had our ultrasound in November, but with vacation and all, we had to wait to find out the gender of this baby.  While the ultrasound tech was taking measurements, we peaked, but saw nothing.  She confirmed we had a healthy baby and all the measurements were on target.  She said she was about 80% sure of the gender, but that was not good enough for me.  She continued to look and the baby kicked several times and she said, "Okay, I am now 99% sure with the same gender in mind,"  I was much happier with that, so she wrote it down and put it in a sealed envelope.  We held  on to the envelope for a week, without peaking!  Rick and I assumed that since the baby only kicked, it must be a boy.  As the weeks leading up to the reveal approached, I was more and more sure it was a boy.  I even started calling the baby "he".

We dropped the envelope off with a baker that was making a cake for our reveal. The inside of the cake would either be pink or blue. 

We talked with the boys about names for our baby.  Our boy name was either Enzo or Rocco, Frankie really liked Rocco.  He did help confirm that the boy name would be Rocco.  After my ultrasound, I came home, looked through his papers from school to find a turkey he made in school named Rocco.  I took that as another sign that it was a boy.  Our girl name has been the same since I was pregnant with Vinnie, Clover Grace.

Well, I was so sure it was going to be Rocky, that I just knew it was going to be blue inside. Vinnie has been a believer that it was a girl from the beginning. In fact the week leading up to the baby reveal, I sat him down to let him know that no matter what we are happy. Little did I know, he probably should have been consoling me.
So the day arrived, it was going to be Rocco "Rocky" Gray or Clover Grace....

We did several wise tales:

We shared the gender of our baby in the best way possible, surrounded by friends and my mom.  It was a special moment that we will never forget.  I couldn't imagine it being a better event. The screams of joy we heard and the excitement and love in the air was amazing. Thank you to everyone who shared this moment with us, we will always cherish it.

I was in such shock,  the emotion I expressed was real. I couldn't comprehend pink cake. I was SURE it was going to be blue.  That night, neither Rick or I slept much. I just couldn't get over it.  The following Monday, we scheduled a 3D ultrasound to see it for our self.  It took a good week before the idea settled in, that we could possibly have anything but boys.




We are ready to meet this little girl, Clover Grace.  I am thrilled and excited to go down a new path.